I’ve been seeing this guy
For a few weeks now
And his face is OK
But the sex isn’t wow
And as he enters me
Pushing the small of my back
Lying on my side
That’s when the pain attacks
I push the pangs
To the back of my head
Lying here
Cheek pressed to the bed
Though this has crept in
Too many times before
I make an appointment the next day
Quarter past four
I lie on the couch
Legs spread wide
Look up at the ceiling
I’m uncomfortable and tired
She rummages inside me
With the slight of her hand
I think of what my mum once told me
And think of England if I can
I fumble for my knickers
Shuffle up and out
There’s no small talk here
Which frankly I’m happy about
She tells me I’ll get the results
In about a week
I smile and nod politely
Too embarrassed to speak
I get on with my life
Again, push it to the back of my head
But the jolt reawakens
Every time I’m on that bad
I try to take control
Trying out different positions
Bite my tongue as he still won’t go down on me
Of his own volition
He tells me my pleasure
Is all he cares about
But I can’t remember the last time
I had to muffle the moans from my mouth
Is this it? - I ask myself -
Is this as good as it gets?
Painful intercourse
Bloody sheets and regrets
A week passes
And I go back to see aforementioned nurse
I look at her with eyes of steel that say:
Go on, do you worst
She clears her throat
I clear mine as we dance a tango of silence
My palms are clammy, my nails are worn
My cheeks a little flushed and vibrant
As you know we did the scan
And ran some routine tests
We’ve checked your cervix and uterus
And every single egg
I’m not sure how to tell you this
I know you’re having problems in bed
But there’s nothing we can do for you
It’s all in your
Head